For anyone who is interested, the Village Voice has an interesting article about Kabbalah. Anyway, the method of teaching/healing reminded me a bit of the movie Safe, what with the "You're in control of your life, it's your own fault, if you have a cold it means something's wrong spiritually" deal. I mean, who is really going to stick around upon hearing a message like "If you go to all the classes and make a donation and you get cancer, that's because when you were scanning the Zohar, you were not truly feeling it in your heart"? Increasing amounts of people, it seems. Anyway, my favourite part of the article was when this wife was telling the story about her now ex-husband getting really into Kabbalah, the symptoms of which were "keeping a Zohar in his car, praying throughout the day and boring friends with talk of Kabbalah." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Anyway, I've come to a decision about my life. I've decided that I am never going to have a drug problem or any kind of emotional problems or a 'need for spirituality' crisis or anything like that, because the only avenues for treatment seem without exception to turn one into an unbearable crashing bore.

My favourite sentence for today comes from Defamer:
"Tom Cruise loves to fuck women so much that he just might explode into a heterosexual flurry of litigation at any moment..."
GOLD! Raahahaha! Gold gold GOLD!

P.S. By the way, yesterday I officially joined the tweed blazer wearing fashion victim set... for 25 bucks! So far, I'm brazenly unremorseful about it. You can all judge me on Thursday night.

The dude is not getting any less bonkers. From today's Age comes this bit of nonsense:

" There is no point taxing the rich because they just dodge their tax bill anyway, President George Bush said.

'Real rich people figure out how to dodge taxes,' Mr Bush said on Monday during a campaign stop in suburban Washington.

Mr Bush's Democratic rival in the November election, John Kerry, has pledged to scrap the President's tax cuts for the wealthiest people in an attempt to rein in the record budget deficit.

'You've got to be careful about this rhetoric - we're only going to tax the rich. You know who the rich in America happen to be, the small business owners,' Mr Bush said. "

Oh dude. Like, what the hell? Let's just disregard for the moment, as Bush has, that maybe some rich people make their money in large corporations, not small businesses. Still, what is the point he is trying to make? Is he saying Kerry is a bad man who wants to slug hard-working small business owners for more tax, or is he saying that small business owners are evil tax dodgers and Kerry is naive to think he can get any money out of their greedy little hands? Whatever, all he's managed to do is talk about something that really pisses people off [that is, rich people not paying taxes], and then, instead of following it up with something logical like, "As President, I will do my best to pass legislation that will close the loopholes" or whatever, he swings around like a crazy man and makes what I assume is an attack except that it makes no sense. I just don't get this guy.

Just came back from The Libertines and oh man it was so fantastic! The first few songs weren't really kicking but then they sang the new one Can't Stand Me Now and the level just lifted and everything was marvellous after that. And the crowd around us were retarded but there were so many comic moments of loserdom that it just improved my mood even more. Man, I can't remember being so blissfully happy and relaxed and not at all anxious at a gig before. Gold gold gold. And their new material sounds really totally excellent. And Carl Barat is lovely isn't he? Ooooh, it was just so damn great!

The support band were The Pictures, who replaced The Cops, filling the spot at the last minute. They won me over early on with some great guitar and rocking-ness, and they had a really cool attitude and effortless natural rock moves. The lead guy is in You Am I isn't he? Anyway, a good sort. Quite a rocking three-piece. Like em.

But oh man, The Libertines! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee....

My new favourite cartoon at Perth Rock City is Video Twat. It is pure gold.

This opinion piece from The Age by our former ambassador to Iraq is quite a good little reality check about the war. There's also this article about Howard's response to the call for 'truth in government' with 43 ex-senior official dudes as signatories. Funniest part of the article is this sentence in which Grattan/Forbes capture Howards's response;

"Mr Howard said the criticism over Iraq was 'repetitious'."

Larf! However, Robert Manne's piece about Latham and the forthcoming election is a less nice reality check. It's a really good piece and accurate and with credible analysis and all that, it's just that he predicts that Howard will be returned to government, and, like him, I really hope he's wrong. Because Howard sucks. And I don't get why people would vote for him or why he has won support by doing some of the horrible things he's done. Anyway, the bit in Manne that goes "under Howard the Coalition has captured a considerable part of the working class through its victories in the culture wars over issues such as asylum seekers, Aboriginal land rights and law and order" is really disheartening to me. First of all, I don't like it that it's always the working class who gets blamed for switching allegiances to the party that's using racism and fear and general shittiness in its campaign. I don't think the middle class is free from this charge at all, but we don't seem to bear the brunt of it, and I don't think that's fair. But generally I trust Manne to know about this culture war shit because he has been fighting on the opposite side to Howard, and apparently losing despite the clarity and correctness of his arguments and the shamefulness and deceptiveness of those of the other side. Anyway, I still find it quite incomprehensible that people, whatever class, have been moved to support Howard because he has been at the helm for such 'victories' as a) an expensively mean exercise against desperate people fleeing serious shit, calling them liars and locking them up and traumatising them only to find that, hey, most of them really are refugees requiring asylum, not 'queue-jumpers' or 'boat people' or 'possibly terrorists', b) the continued and growing resistance to granting our indigenous population recognition of their rights, with toxic public denial about australia's history, and with Howard conducting himself with horrid pettiness when making policy or public statements about aboriginal issues, and approving of the same conduct in others, and c) the move away from the 'let the punishment fit the crime and hey, what about rehabilitation' ethic of sentencing towards a more 'populist' lynch mob kind of deal that nevertheless gives the state more power over sentencing and takes discretion away from judges, [breathe] not to mention all that shit providing increased powers to search and detain and trample on people's rights in response to terrorism, blah.

Sure, I don't know half of what I'm supposed to know about this stuff, but oh man, we've had conservative government since 1996 people. That's EIGHT YEARS! That's SHOCKING! That's a hell of a lot of time to move in the wrong direction, for a lack of progress on national maturity issues flagged under Keating, like a Bill of Rights, reconciliation, becoming a republic, and so forth. Please, WE CAN'T have another three years. That's just too terrifying a prospect.

Miss Teen USA was on yesterday, but as I was out experiencing high-brow cinema at the time, I had to tape it. Having watched it last night I would have to say that my favourite moment was when Miss Nevada was asked why her brother was her hero and she replied,

"He's in the United States Airforce and he is putting his line on the life for me and everybody as well and I think he is such a hero to me and it's such a personal experience and it really hits home so hi Brian at home I love you."

Such simple mix ups are so amusing, especially when delivered so earnestly. Ah, I love beauty pageants. I don't understand them, but I have to watch them. What is the point of them? That is my main perplexion. How can the 'celebrity' judging panel possibly make an informed decision about who is the best girl based on watching her walk around on a stage and aswering, ooooh, ONE question? [I love how the hosts always go "oooh, now for the really hard part... The final question" and are like 'phew' because they're glad they don't have to do something so damn tough]. Also, what does winning professional representation, the opportunity to do magazine shoots, and $2500 worth of free spray-on tanning have to do with representing the interests of America's teens? I was just wondering.

Anyway, speaking of mixed up speech puts me in mind of that 'so funny cos it's true' Bush gaffe from last week. You know, when he went,

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we"... [pause for emphasis and look strong]... "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people... [another strong assured pause]... and neither do we."

Ahahaha! Oh you gotta hear it. It's so hilarious the way he says it. It's right up there with my favourite Bush gaffe ever, which went,

"Those of us who have spent some time in the agricultural sector and in the heartland understand how unfair the death penalty is ... the death tax is, and we need to get rid of it."

Yes, yes you do.

Like Elanor, I went off to watch My Foetus. I thought it was excellent, managing to avoid sensationalism while not brushing over the confronting, horrible aspects of the issue. It'll be interesting to see what others think.

Went to see The Five Obstructions today at the film festival. It was fantastic. I really loved it. Lars von Trier getting his mentor Jorgen Leth to remake one of his old films, The Perfect Human, and abiding by all these tricky new rules, or 'obstructions', set by Lars. It was funny and interesting and cool. Two highly intelligent and skilled men in a creative battle. Really really cool. Did I mention it was cool? Definitely go and see it if you can.

Then I went to see I'll Sleep When I'm Dead, about which I had high hopes, considering it contains yummy men. Clive Owen, Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Mmmmm goodness. However, quite a crap film. The story didn't really have any credibility. Also, sorry, but you can't kill off Jonathan Rhys Meyers early in a film, ever. Even if his death is the wellspring of the story. The story was crap anyway, so very uncalled for. Some guy out of nowhere takes a dislike to Jonathan and so decides to rape him? What's up with that? I sat through the film at least hoping to get an explanation as to why Malcolm Macdowell had gone to so much trouble, organising henchmen and tip-offs in order to rape Jonathan, and then when we finally get an explanation as to why, it's just a load of crap, far too calmly delivered by a man with a gun pointed at his head. The film was just dumb like that, and not underworldy at all. Actually there was all this underworld stuff going on but it petered and had no point whatsoever as regarded the story, except for being the milieu. Anyway, unsatisfying, disappointing and other pejoratives. In a word, no.

Anyway, off to watch abortions.

And so it grows... Anita has joined the blog fold with her newly launched The Leftorium, where you can find a delightful pic of David Hasselhoff. Which reminds me, a little bird told me last night that Mark Holden was writing songs for one of Hass's last albums, which in a way, makes total sense...

Videohits Beef

Two things. Firstly, Usher is a complete tosser loser. He is totally walkingall over his ex, Chilli (of TLC fame), while trying to seem like some bleeding-heart, confessional type (his new single is called Confessions II). Like, this whole album he has been whining on about how he cheated, about how he regrets it, about how he should be forgiven blah blah, while prancing round with his shirt off being a total miva (male diva). It all seems rather false, and he seems like a self-indulgent careerist tosser.

Second thing: Cosima's new clip. Oh my god, it's bad. Not in a cheap and nasty way, but in a tasteless and crass way. Like when that final key change kicks in they actually cut to her on a cliff top, by the sea, with her arms wide open and wind blowing through her hair (wearing some strange shawl that makes her look like a widow). So with this new entry, the Aus Idol I Taste Ladder reads as follows:

1. Paulini Boring, but classy. Classic Sony.
2. Guy Sebastian Seems more talented than his material. Next album should be better.
3. Shannon Noll / Cosima (tie) Shannon's a no-talent who's been managed brilliantly. No such luck with Cosima's independent record deal.
4. Rob Mills Tosser.

I haven't actually seen Courtney Act's song, so I can't really comment, but don't really expect much.

Checked out Blog Patrol for recent searchterms leading people to this site, and somebody had googled "Bill Clinton and Kabbalah Bracelet on Letterman" to get here. In the interests of truth and accuracy, can I just say that Bill Clinton does not wear a Kabbalah bracelet. The thing he sports on his wrist, [which, by the by, makes his hands look rather fetching... Oh god. Am I finally turning into one of those Clinton-crushers?] was revealed in his interview with Denton to be "a welcome bracelet from Colombia. It was given to me by children who sing and dance for peace against the narco-traffickers and their guerilla supporters who control one-third of Colombia." Perhaps just as wanky as a Kabbalah bracelet, perhaps not. Whatever, that's the deal. Consider yourselves suitably informed.

I was reading Time magazine and in the midst of this article I found something really strange.... BONKERS actually. See, the Time story was about Bush's new election strategy blah blah blah, but it also had parts about how his advisers and campaign strategists were watching Kerry's convention speech. Like, they were all watching it closely and conference calling one another and exchanging notes about how to respond to it and so forth, which was all quite normal, I felt. But then there was this bit of information [below], which struck me as totally odd. See if you agree, but I found it quite confounding and bizarre. It went;

'On Air Force One the day after Kerry spoke in Boston, aides described for the President, who hadn't watched the address, the Democrat's line of attack, including his claim that he would always fund U.S troops. Afterward, Bush asked to pump up the portion of his stump speech that lampooned Kerry's explanation of his vote against the $87 billion to fund the U.S. occupation of Iraq. "There is nothing complicated about supporting our troops in combat," Bush said at stops in Missouri and Michigan.'

Whaaaa? Bush didn't even watch the speech? Um, let me repeat, with added incredulity: Bush didn't even watch the speech?! What the hell is that about? I'm sorry, but I think that's really really weird, even for him. It's just incomprehensible and singularly inattentive in the extreme. Like, this was the speech in which Kerry accepted his party's nomination to be Bush's opponent. That's not a small fry thing. It's a game on big time thing. It's action stations, people. So seriously, isn't it totally weird not to watch something that so directly relates to you, the content of which you will be dealing with for the next few months as you campaign against this one guy for the same job? My dad says it's not weird, it's just Bush putting distance between himself and Kerry, not 'dignifying' his opponent with any undue attention, or whatever. But, if that is Bush's reasoning, I think it's transparently ridiculous, especially considering that a) he immediately reacted to Kerry's speech [once made aware of its content] by making an alteration to his own, b) his staff were watching it really intently, and c) he was no doubt aware that he will be referring back to statements made by Kerry during this convention speech as the election campaign continues. I mean, Bush is clearly not going to ignore this speech. He's gonna be using Kerry's stuff in the debates and ads and all that, so why not watch the damn thing himself? Why not trust his own perspective, bring his own ideas and instincts and initial reactions to bear upon the buzzing mix of talk about how to deal with, respond to, or spin the thing? I'm just baffled. I mean, in the end, this race comes down to him and this one other guy. He's gonna have to take him on, spar with him, interact with him. So like, shouldn't he take a personal interest? Aren't there at least some things that come down to him and him alone, like sizing up his opponent's performance at a major moment? Instead of having his aides describe it to him! Seriously dude. That's just BONKERS!

That 4 Corners story on Monday about the Australia-US Free Trade Agreement was really good. No re-enactments. No emotive music. Just good clean insight. Check out the transcript if you missed it.

Major points for the lazy:
- Our Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme is really ace. World's best practice and all that. People wish they had our scheme.

- The argument that we should give up our PBS because "Somebody has to pay for the research and development of these miracle drugs" [Senator Jon Kyl] and "Australia's freeloading" [Kevin Hassett, American Enterprise Institute] with pharmaceutical companies taking all this risk 'innovating' on our behalf, is a crock, especially considering that they spend way more on lobbying and advertising than R&D, and that the actual R&D is done in publicly funded academic institutions and then bought by the companies for a song.

- Ignore the talk about how "Foreign governments, with their socialised medicine, are destroying innovation." Because such talk comes from disreputable places like the American Enterprise Institute. Dickheads! No matter what they, just know that WE'RE NOT DODGY! And don't let anyone tell you different. We're cool. All our PBS board does is consider whether 'new' drugs are actually new, and if they're not new they just price them the same as the other drugs already out there that do the same job. It's not evil.

- The Free Trade Agreement will quite possibly fuck up our PBS. Our sweet sweet PBS.

- Heaps of people are full of shit. And heaps of people aren't.

So yesterday I finally turned up to a class I've skipped for the first three weeks of uni. I just couldn't seem to get up on the first Tuesday, and then on the second Tuesday I couldn't either, and on the third Tuesday I withdrew from the world under the weight of the dread of having to explain my previous absences. Man, tiny little things can really shake my equilibrium. Like making phonecalls to switch a shift for work. The dread is completely disproportionate to the task, considering that it never turns out to be an unpleasant experience. But still, the dread is there every time. Anyway, so yesterday I went to the lecture and tute for this Media Law subject I'd been skipping. I didn't know what I was going to say to my tutor other than, 'Nice to meet you finally'. But I had read all the chapters from the text book and the lecture was fine and interesting, and given by a lecturer who kinda knows me because I went to his office to get the course guide and some details about an assignment we had to do the other week for this subject [which I actually handed in on time, still not having attended any classes] and while I was there he said, "Oh, you're studying Journalism right?" And I was like "Yeah". And then I realised he was the dude who had interviewed me for the course and had probably recommended my acceptance to it, because I got in. And he was like "Yeah, I remember you from the interview." So now I'm like, "Oh shit, I can't fuck up this class. I cannot be a dumbarse at any point." So I guess that added to my angst for skipping the third Tuesday. Anyway, I went yesterday, and the lecture was just as harmless as everything else I get het up about. Although I was trying to stay below the radar there was one point at which he asked if anyone had seen Gigli and I said "Yes" in a normal tone, which was nonetheless amplified by the deathly silence of the rest of the room. And all eyes swivelled to me, and lecturer man laughed and went "Okay, one person has seen it." And then showed some of the scathing reviews and talked about how these were defensible acts of defamation because they come under the umbrella of 'fair comment'. So the easy part, the lecture part, was over. Now came the tute. I had no idea what I was going to say. But in the end I didn't have to say anything, because my tutor's kid was sick so she had stayed home to care for him [note to self; your tutor is a woman], and so the same lecturer dude was taking our tute. And how was he to know who had been there before and who hadn't? Score! But then when he was taking the roll and me and this other girl said our names he went, "Oh, I've got your assignments. I marked them because you hadn't put your tutor's name on the cover sheet." And we were like, "Uh, yeah. That's because we didn't know her name......yet." BUSTED! [Note to self; still don't know my tutor's name. She is female, though.] Also, I was going to myself, "Oh SHIT! Worst luck ever." My most stupid half-arsed assignment ever [explaining what 'plagiarism' is. I mean, how shit is that? You can only stretch a definition so far! What were they thinking?] was marked by the guy who got me into the course. I am completely sure he's having doubts now. I was cringing badly. But the tute went fine. I mean, having not been there for the first three, I had planned to sit back and observe how things worked, like who were the main players and all that. But no-one was saying anything to break the silences that followed his questions, so I found myself being first responder just to break the awkwardness. So Tuesday went fine. I broke through that anti-Tuesday barrier. I know this is boring as heck for you all, but this reckless absence thing had actually been playing on my mind for a few weeks. Such powerful guilt and dread. Anyway, now I just have to worry about next week.

After uni I had quite a few hours to spare before Marty's birthday drinks. Like, six hours. So I killed a few of them at the computer lab trying to write up a prac piece. No joy, but I managed to marshal the necessary components. And then Ska Boy #1 popped up for a chat. I still think that's weird. And then I checked the session times for Spiderman 2 and found it was playing at 4.50pm which would be perfect for getting to Marty's at 8pm. And then my face kind of twitched as the thought PRESENT exploded in my brain. So I high-tailed it outta there to do some thoughtful shopping. Actually, it was more of an instinctual snap-decision shop. And then Spiderman 2. Which was totally fantastic! Like, I really didn't love the first one at all. It kinda sucked badly, especially on a second viewing. But this sequel is awesome! The villain was so shit in the last one. But this Doc Oc villain was so cool. And Tobey rules. Mmmmm, I love him. And he is so perfectly cast for this. Yeah. A really really cool movie. And satisfying.

Then I went to Marty's for a little bit, which was really nice and I hope you had a great birthday. Then I pissed off to the film festival to watch Head-On, that German movie that won prizes at the Berlin Film Festival. It was really fantastic, especially the first hour. The first hour was just wonderful and spirited and cool. And the characters were great and crazy-cool, especially the dude. He was also totally hot, in that grizzled old man kind of way. Think Bob Geldof but totally totally hot. And it was all going swimmingly until about halfway through the movie when this thing happened that interrupted how things were going just as they were about to go really well. And so then it was just not as fun because it didn't turn out how it was gonna turn out. And that was sad. But still an excellent film. And ohmygod the soundtrack! AMAZING! So fucking great. Best use of Depeche Mode ever in a film! Actually, any use of Depeche Mode is an instant boon. Filmmakers take note. Ooh, I really want that soundtrack, if there is one. Fantastic!

So that was Tuesday. Quite full. Maybe I should do them more often.

I just love ET's Cojo, and not only for the way he mouths the name "Courtney COXXX". Today I was won over by his take on the Democratic National Convention, and "all the fashion highlights", like red dress #1, #2 and #3. While on the topic I actually think Kerry's wife looks pretty great, and seems pretty fabulous, in a fabulous darlink kind of way. I'm sure she'd be a party drinker, wheras Laura Bush seems like a secret boozer, pushing the pain right down to the tips of her toes etc etc. It would be cool to have someone fabulous in the White House.

MEANWHILE can Ben Affleck please STAY AWAY from politics. He could seriously lose Kerry the election - doesn't Affleck get that we don't like him. We being I.

I was prepared to accept that Richard Wilkins' genes were going to be passed on to the next generation only because they might be tempered by Collette Dinnigan's. But oh the horror upon finding out that he has already reproduced five times before this one! Wrong.

Went to see Anatomy of Hell today during my break. Oh god it was crap. So boring and pointless. And the speech was so shallow but taking itself so seriously ponderousness. Christ! Ergh. Don't bother. If you wanna see a good Catherine Breillat film, go and rent A Ma Soeur, which was pretty cool.

Haha! Just bought Libertines tickets! Glee! They weren't sold out after all! Er, confirmation pending on that purchase, but whatever. I'm happy for the moment. Also, I totally agree with Erin when she says that "there might be more to life than goin to a shitload of gigs, but at the moment I can't really think of what they are". Damn straight.

Why on earth would Eric Bana sign up to be the next Bond? It's such a shit franchise. So lame and crappy and creepy. As if women would ever go for that guy! I still get creeped out remembering that 'witty exchange' between Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry on the beach where he somehow charms her 'feisty independent' character into bed by acting like a seedy old man and saying he's an 'ornithologist'. Ew. Shudder. If I remember correctly, he was supposed to be setting himself apart from all the other sleazoids on the beach, but only managed to reinforce his absolute similarity to them, especially in that crappy sleazoid shirt and with those crappy sleazoid smarmy lines. Yuck! Same goes for every other 'witty' seduction ever made by a Bond. That character is so not suave. And shut up about Sean Connery already, you Connery-loving freaks. He's crap! That's right, you heard me. Crap crap crap crap crap. Ever was and ever shall be. Oh why would Eric do it? Didn't he get that all the 'hip & down with the young folk' actors of his generation were turning down the Bond role for a reason? Because it's utter shit and annoying and lame and all their female friends would kill them if they did it? Disappointing, Eric. We can only hope for some serious ironic revision if; a) Bana is to avoid being irretrievably shamed, erm, again and b) we are to be amused.