Lately I’ve been shopping round for some prime TV viewing. Choosing not to embrace auction/renovation/lifestyle infotainment, I feared that I was waging a losing battle. Luckily, just as I was losing hope, I stumbled across The Bachelor III: prime viewing. Now, while I sometimes think that I might be irrationally and myopically anti-American, this crowd is totally nuts, which makes for very entertaining viewing. Backstabbing, boozing, emotional meltdowns – it’s all there. The star of the show is without doubt Amber, the drunk. In fact, I investigated the show after hearing that she totally embarrassed herself in the first few episodes. Apparently she got wasted in the Jacuzzi, almost passed out and vomited, which led to a tirade of bitching from the other contestants (“I really think that Amber made a seriously bad tactical move. She really needs to watch her drinking”). I was sorta disappointed that I didn’t get to see her vomit, but I did see her with a champagne glass clamped to her 24/7, and I did get to see her blackout regularly during conversation. Amber comes across so well because at least her boozing is genuine. After hearing every other bottle blonde talk about “connections”, the art of respectable wifehood, and the love they truly feel for Mr. Bachelor , the fact that someone can vomit on international TV is kinds refreshing. The fact that all these prim and proper puritan society-wives-in-waiting spend their down-time frantically bitching about every other contestant kinda highlights the falsity of it all (“I would never say this about anyone… but Katrina is a total bitch skank”). What’s so freaky is the way everyone involved is treating the process so professionally. It was priceless seeing the Bachelor earnestly talk about how he “really has to work to focus on each laadiieee so that she can show to me her best qualities”. I love America! If there’s more boozing and bitching, I’m definitely committing.