This woman is not cool. We, of course, hate her.

She's total crap. And now she's the new director of the ABC board? Gads. If you're banging on about bias at the ABC, you so shouldn't be on the board because you so haven't been paying attention and you clearly refuse to 'get' stuff. Seriously not cool. I mean, a word was coined which referred to being not cool in a singularly uncool way, and the word was 'albrechting'. Coincidence? I think not.

Went to see New Buffalo tonight, which was, of course, lovely.

Sandra Bernhard last night. Felt a bit pointless, really. Not great.

Scissor Sisters. Amazing. Fun. Cool. Awesome. Ruled.

Was in Sportsgirl in Bourke St Mall today, and well, the place has gone seriously spastic for Sienna Miller. It's like a shrine to her.

David Byrne: Coolest man alive! Coolest man alive!

Here is a list of tonight's AWESOME-NESS, as far as I can remember;

Talking Heads AWESOME-NESS
This Must Be The Place
Psycho Killer
And She Was
Life During Wartime
Heaven
Once In A Lifetime
Road To Nowhere
Blind

General AWESOME-NESS
Like Humans Do [awesome]
A song that mentioned a "diamond box" [awesome]
A song about the universe/theory of everything [awesome]
A song about being "wicked and lazy" [awesome]
An imaginary love letter [awesome]
A Jimi Hendrix cover, went something something "gold and red, the colour of a dream I had" [totally awesome]
And, did I mention that I saw David Byrne. He was there. And he had moves. And is totally totally cool. Yes?

Coolest man alive! Coolest man alive! Coolest man alive!

Ok, sighted in the middle of London, by my very eyes, is Belle de Jour's book - called Belle de Jour, I guess. And it was on the discount table. Yippee!! That'll teach her to get a book deal, and be a fake callgirl and stuff...

Meanwhile, oh my god. These girls used to be on my train, friends-of-a-friend etc. And now they're getting the PopJustice treatment? Bizarre.

Noooo! Arthur Miller died. But..... sob, wail, puke.
Crap. Crap. Crap. Oh god. No. So not in the mood to do A Wrap-Up Of This Morning's Mostly Crap Music Videos right now, which is what I entered the internet to do, until it broke my heart with death news. Horrible internet. Now I feel all inappropriate, because I LOVED HIM!

But I just can't help myself. I just have to talk about the music videos. I mean, Delta and Brian are on TV behind me right now! And it's very very bad. Hey, does anyone else sometimes hear a similarity in their song to Kylie and Jason's megahit, Especially For You? I do. Just in certain sections I reckon the tune's been ripped off, but then changed a bit to make it GODAWFUL BORING.

Moving on, did anyone catch Britters' new song/clip, Do Somethin'? It's a bit odd. I mean, the song is borderline. Lyric example, "up in my grille". It could either be sung by a worthless soon to disappear up-and-comer, or by a seasoned gal going for edgy cred. To my mind, with a song like this, the distinction all depends on the clip, and I think Britney might have been able to pull the song off if a high-concept, expensive-looking clip had been invested in [see: Gwen Stefani]. Had that happened, we might have all found ourselves going, "Brilliant. Brilliant." But the clip is cheap as. So the whole song and Britney's association with it just ends up seeming inexplicable.

Oh god. I hate U2. I mean, what kind of a band starts a clip with Bono walking down a street in a hoody and, yes, sunglasses, while the words of a 'deep quote' appear as scrawl on the bottom of the screen? Just appreciate that lame-o-ness, and then, know this: the quote is from Bono. It's signed "-Bono". It's quite possibly even in Bono's own handwriting. Scream! He's quoting himself being 'deep' to endeepen his own clip!? ARRGGHH!

Er, Emmanuel Carella is back. And, well, bad clip. Embarassing. It's going for 'energy' and fresh zestiness, I think. But the back-up dancers are out of time and it looks like it was shot in a scout hall, and on digital etc, yeah, cheap. Also, he's just not very good.

Oooh, new Beck song. Have been waiting for this album for a while. The song is E-Pro, I think, and it's fine. I wasn't creaming my daks about it, but I'm saving that up for the one he collaborated on with Jack White anyway.

And finally, what the fuck is up with the charts at the moment? Jesus, that Nitty song is STOOPID. Just, WHY? We cannot possibly be going mad for it. And then at #1 we have a Nelly and Tim McGraw duet? I want to die.

Nooo... it's happened already! The Brazillian guy in the bunk above me had a visitor last night, so I spent about 10 hours trying NOT to hear anything. Here's a sample of what I did hear:

a: I'm sorry if I'm keeping you awake...
b: I'm awake cause I like having you here...
smoooch...

Later...

"moist" noises, bed thumping. Yuk.

Greetings from NY! If you look (and have cable, and are that way inclined), you might see me behind the Fox News desk in Times Square, just, you know, hanging around. So, thus far I've braved San Francisco (a false city - starts out seeming nice, but then turns rotten), and now I'm here. It's strange to actually be in America after writing about its politics so much. And now that I'm here, I really do feel like a meek Australian boy from the 'burbs. A few observations:

1. Here, no one indicates when merging. Also EVERYONE drives big SUVs while using "cell-phones".
2. There are tonnes of homeless, except in New York, where they've all been eerily removed (what did Giuliani do? Fix welfare?).
3. Everyone in Manhatten is a tourist. And I haven't yet spotted the Olsen Twins.
4. American airlines suck. Flight Attendants sit around chatting and eating while us economy swine just wither and die.
5. You end up drinking Starbucks because there is no other easy option.

So, I can't say I like America. More, I'm startled and a little alarmed by the whole proposition. Anyway, I'll report back from London...

Watched The X Factor tonight. And, as usual when these things start, my parents put up some resistance. And so we had a brief exchange, eg. "Are you really going to watch that?" Yes. "Why?" So that we can hate on Kate Cebrano. "Oh, I see. Oooh, is that the nice boy from The Bill? Is The Bill on tonight?" Anyway, my thoughts on The X Factor - they really aren't going to find anything good, are they. No. Also, ohmygod, that guy knew Freddie Mercury! That is fucking cool. And, yeah yeah, he managed Elton John and George Michael etc. Hmmm, given his experience in making gay stars 'palatable' to the mainstream (ie. hiding their gay-ness), he might be just the right man for Anthony Callea. Or, the completely wrong one. Dunno really what works better these days.

Wow. Thanks to a google search in our blog stats, I’ve discovered that I have a new nickname. Wanna hear it? It’s lovely. You can add some fat slag from Alphington to the many other variants of my name. And I'm a bit pissed off, irritated, and doing the standard "Whatever, creeps" thing again. Because I’m not just some fat slag from Alphington. I’m the fat slag from Alphington. Seriously, ain't no slag fatter than me in this burb.

Oh, Le Tigre. Are they not the coolest band in the world? I say, yes. They are. I love them. They rule. What with the dance moves and the trashy artiness and the pro-choice politics and the brilliant shouty electroclashy tunes. COOL. And tonight, their coolness was ably supported by the crowd's highly excellent fashion and haircuts, and by two Aussie bands, Ninety-Nine*, and Minimum Chips. I loved Ninety-Nine immediately. There was xylophone action, and instrument swapping, and a drummer going delightfully mental. Just the kind of shit that I love. But, do you know what I love more? Getting my props. See, I was listening to them and going, "These guys are awesome!" And then one of them dedicated a song to "everyone from 3CR". And in my mind I had a little fit because I went, "Hey! That's ME!" Dunno what I did to deserve such an honour, but fuck that. I got a shout-out from a spastically cool band.

[* this is the correct name of the band. I had it wrong before.]

I'm going to see Le Tigre tonight. And, as they would themselves say/repeat... I'm so excited! Tis going to rule, methinks. But how embarassing. I was just informed that the entire band is female. Which is less embarassing for me as it will be for Andrew when I tell him, due to his mad crush on the 'boy' one. Unless he already knows, and always has known... Damnit! But anyway, look! A list of the upcoming gigs I will be attending:

Tonight: Le Tigre, Corner Hotel

Sun, 13 Feb: David Byrne, Regent Theatre

Wed, 16 Feb: Scissor Sisters, Prince Of Wales

Sat, 19 Feb: Sandra Bernhard, Arts Centre

Thurs, 10 March: The Black Keys, Corner Hotel

Sat, 19 March: The Fiery Furnaces, Northcote Social Club

Wed, 30 March: Cake, Forum

Sun, 3 April: REM/Bright Eyes/Little Birdy, Rod Laver Arena

And quite possibly, Jethro Tull on May 7 at the Palais. I wonder if they'll do Thick As A Brick, because that would rule and I could sing along.

If this list-making seems rather random and pointless to you, it isn't. It's very worthwhile to my psyche. See, I need to write about how exciting Melbourne is, because I'm totally not jealous that my Symposiasts counterpart Guy just began a month-long whirlwind world tour, taking in those cultural backwaters San Francisco, New York, London, Paris and Berlin. I mean, it's quite possible that he is visiting the Full House house as we speak!!! And I can totally handle it.

Ooooh oooh, The OC is back tonight.