So President Bush visited the country the other day and made a speech to Parliament, and all that. And all I have to say is, "That guy is a genius"! Let me explain. You know those conversations you get into when things aren't really going your way, and you feel like you're making a dick of yourself and everyone is judging you and with every utterance you are hanging yourself and everyone is kind of tense and you just wish that there was a way you could break the tension with grace and aplomb and get yourself back onto a better footing, but you just can't find the words to do it? You know, those awkward moments that inevitably occur in social situations? Well, President Bush has found the ultimate solution to this problem. If his parliamentary appearance is anything to go by, this line is a surefire hit, a 'witty rejoinder' worthy of clamourous applause. So, picture this. You've just made what you thought was an hilarious call, but it has been met with blaring and shame-inducing silence. Or, you're in an argument and you've backed yourself so deep into a corner that you can't possibly imagine that a way out is even possible. What do you do? Well folks, the five little words that I am about to share with you are the most powerful way out I have ever seen. They smooth down even the most resistant of hackles. They break the tension instantly, and everyone around you is grateful for it. George has taught me, and now I am passing the nifty trick onto you, that to get out of any sticky situation that you come across in your life requires only that you pause, take in the crowd, [maybe shrug and hold out your hands, but that is a context-reliant flourish, and you will be the best judge as to whether it will stand] and say "Hey, I love free speech". I am in the process of incorporating this gem into my default position. Gone are the days when, after causing or enduring any social trauma, I would feebly hum, or say "whatever". I gratefully put those involuntary defaults into the bin. Now, I will be a powerful and unassailable foe, armed only with [if my brain allows my programming override] the unimpeachable greatness of "Hey, I love free speech". It placates admiriers and infuriates foes. It can even be used to disarm the most 'intellectual' of combatants, if delivered as an 'humourous ironic quotation'. It is, in a word, perfect. Those Americans really do know a thing or two about artillery.