People, you gots to check out Guy's other blog, Petrol in the Car, right NOW! Fucking hilarious family holiday nightmare edition. My favourite part;

'I’ve found myself snapping at my (admittedly hugely passive-aggressive) mother every second minute, and even just randomly glaring at her because I can’t even articulate to myself why I’m so pissed off. Today, my sis and I accused her of being a “learned helpless” person. She then spent the rest of the day moaning about how “if we really think she’s helpless, maybe she’s a terrible mother, and we hate her lots and lots”. She really is the master, and has skills of passive-aggression that I could only dream of; she’s just so bold and audacious.'

OH MAN! So resonant, and yet, so much more extreme than my own experience. My mum doesn't have the same audacity, which means our [undeclared] stoushes aren't about going to greater and greater heights of irrationality. She actually makes a skill out of withdrawing from the contest. She just kind of closes down, hurt but quiet, and sets about making dinner or politely asks about what we're planning to watch on the living room TV, before going down the hall to watch her own show, alone, in the front room. Which leaves me feeling like a complete shit, like the most horrible person ever, capable of causing silent pain to such a nice lady. Her skill is to make us feel like she believes we 'hate her lots and lots', but is too fearful to say so in the heat of battle, so unsure is she of our response. Which is a heart-piercing little trick. She doesn't mount a defence, so then you're overwhelmed by guilt at beating down a defenceless person. WAIT! She IS a master!!