Monday, August 02, 2004

Why on earth would Eric Bana sign up to be the next Bond? It's such a shit franchise. So lame and crappy and creepy. As if women would ever go for that guy! I still get creeped out remembering that 'witty exchange' between Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry on the beach where he somehow charms her 'feisty independent' character into bed by acting like a seedy old man and saying he's an 'ornithologist'. Ew. Shudder. If I remember correctly, he was supposed to be setting himself apart from all the other sleazoids on the beach, but only managed to reinforce his absolute similarity to them, especially in that crappy sleazoid shirt and with those crappy sleazoid smarmy lines. Yuck! Same goes for every other 'witty' seduction ever made by a Bond. That character is so not suave. And shut up about Sean Connery already, you Connery-loving freaks. He's crap! That's right, you heard me. Crap crap crap crap crap. Ever was and ever shall be. Oh why would Eric do it? Didn't he get that all the 'hip & down with the young folk' actors of his generation were turning down the Bond role for a reason? Because it's utter shit and annoying and lame and all their female friends would kill them if they did it? Disappointing, Eric. We can only hope for some serious ironic revision if; a) Bana is to avoid being irretrievably shamed, erm, again and b) we are to be amused.

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