Listen up, kids. Today's rockin message comes from the supreme arbiters of 'cool', the Rock Eisteddford squares. Check it: SMOKING IS NOT COOL. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh squares, you crack me up. Let me break it down for you. Smoking is cool. I know this because I smoke, and that makes me cool. It also puts me in a position to judge what is cool and what is not. A position we do not share, by the way, because YOU are in the Rock Eisteddford. And it's on TV. And people can see you!