Thursday, November 11, 2004

Okay, did people see Delta on The Panel last night? And then did people see the Ten late news? A rollercoaster of emotion for me, I can tell you. First I'm squirming on the couch in boredom and disgust as she showcases her 'personality' before moving on to treating us to her songwriting 'skills' with impeccably crafted lyrics like

Cos when you're in your darkest HOUR
And all of the light just fades AWAY
And when you're like a single FLOWER
Whose colours have turned to shades of GREY

Doesn't your jaw just drop? It's just so freakin shit. The rhyming! The fucking shitness of the themes. I mean, darkest hour kinda implies light fading, no? And when the fuck has anyone been like a flower? I know it rhymes with hour but, a fucking flower? How meaningless is that? Is she even trying? I mean, I like meaninglessness. I really dig it. What I don't like is when people betray the true spirit of meaninglessness by pretending, or perhaps even believing, that their bullshit is deep, evocative, blah. That's crap. All I'm saying is, if a friend asked you to write a 'deep' pop song for a joke, you might come up with this. It's just that bad.

So at this point, I was all, "Whoah, Delta sucks ass so badly. And what's with her lame hand flourishes? She looks so uncomfortable. Why on earth is she liked?" But then Ten news gave me all the reason I will ever need to rationalise and make peace with Delta Goodrem's existence. She did a radio interview yesterday, or something, and some pathetic dickhead losers waited outside the radio station to meet her, but, gasp, she left through the back door, without even seeing them. BITCH! It was described as a "snub", like she even knew the freaks were there. But whatever, they were awesome idiotic freaks. A little girl, carrying a bunch of flowers, said she thought "it was mean of her to do this". And then she started crying! I laughed my arse off. It was gold. And it just got better. Gold was heaped upon gold. One mother said she was "very upset", then shrugged and made the character assessment, "but, that's just what they're like." Lady, what are YOU like? And then there were these middle-aged dudes, who described themselves as 'fans' and did the whole "she wouldn't have a career if it wasn't for her fans, so the least she could do is come out and see us for a minute." Tools. Oh, what delicious wanker tools. So het up with self-righteous indignation. Watching that has made my day. Solely on the basis of this wonderful episode, I may be able to stomach Delta's utter crapness.

Anyway, Gillian Welch tonight. Should be superb.

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