Jesus christ, Inpress just gave me the fright of my life. Don't do that! You scared the fuck out of me! I actually went into shock. I mean, have a read of this sentence and just try to keep your composure; "Rumour has it he's quit The Herald Sun and taken up a $300,000 a year gig at The Age." Are you flipping out yet? Well, you will be when you find out that the "he" in question is Andrew Bolt. Eugh. Le Douchebag. At THE AGE! Breathe. Breathe. BREATHE. Well, I have firmly decided to think that this rumour CANNOT POSSIBLY BE TRUE [oh god no. IT JUST CAN'T!], so I say, DON'T DO THAT TO ME, Inpress. Don't even speculate. Don't even joke. I almost died!

Hilarious article in MX today about Prince Harry and his swastika outfit, which further cemented the ongoing problem of not being able to have a favourite Royal heir. You see, it used to be that we struggled with the dilemma of 'which heir to love?' Would we favour Wills or Harry? It was a tricky question. And a while back, Anita thought she had it sussed when she found out that Wills was considering entering the armed forces. She felt this terrible misstep of seeking a career in the killing arts settled the argument on Harry. That is, until I rudely informed her that Harry was already in the Army. Quandary indeed! And so, we were both shocked into the realisation that we might live in a world where it was completely impossible to love either one of the royal heirs! Shocking! All our painstaking pro-con lists might have been for nothing. All our fretting over which one which one which one? A total waste of time. And the MX article only confirms this. Because, for serious. Check out who they hang with.

"Harry, 20, was a guest at a fancy dress party thrown in London by Olympic show jumper Richard Meade. Sources say he was accompanied by his brother Prince William, who went dressed as a lion. Both boys are friends with Meade's son Harry, who was among a group of pro-hunting activists that invaded the Labour Party conference in Brighton last September."

Dudes, they hang with RABID TORY SHITS! Young Liberal types! They are friends with them! They probably even laugh at their Tory jokes! Their racist-sexist-classist idiot Tory jokes, with a no doubt menacing fascistic bent! THEY CANNOT BE LOVED! Confirmed.