BIRTHDAY #3

Happy Birthday Blog,

Yes, you’re 3 years old now. And mama hopes you have a lovely day darling. But please quit pestering me about “when’s dada coming around? Do you think he’ll bring me a present?” etc etc. Yes, I’m sure he will, but don’t put me in that position, okay? You know what I mean. We’ve talked about this. It’s really quite bratty of you to make it my responsibility to build dada up in your eyes and keep your love for him alive in case he happens to drop by and take you out on a play date and get you hopped up on sugar. Honestly. Can’t you see what an humiliating and soul-destroying exercise that is for me? And don’t start at me about “What did you do to make dada leave?” For all we know, it might be your fault, dearest. Now now, don’t get in a huff. You know the rule. Every time you scowl like that, it’s Gin & Tonic time for mama, and let’s hope we won’t have to revisit what happens when you don’t get it into mama’s hand within 2 minutes... Darling, I’m waiting... Oh, aren’t you good! Mmmm yes, just the bestest kid in the world, you are! Now, get out. Mama’s going to have one of her lie-downs in the dark of her room. Er, where do you think you’re taking that? Leave the gin, dear. Where is your mind today? Honestly, sometimes I think I gave birth to a simpleton! No no, mama wasn’t talking about you, darling. What on earth gave you that idea? Of course mama thinks you’re a genius. Never said any different, did I? Now, I guess it’s time for your present. Well darling, you know what mama says about cheapening the sentiment with constant repetition. But as it’s your birthday, I guess it’s alright to say it, this once - Mama loves you very much. There. Happy now? Okay sweeheart, just wait in the hall by the front door to let your father in if he comes around. Won’t that be fun for you? And please don’t disturb mama for the rest of the day. Have a lovely birthday darling!

Big kisses,

Your loving mother.