Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony

9:03pm
Er, what are you trying to say here? That koalas in footy shorts aren't the best option, aren't really all that capable even, for the job of rescuing insipid child actors? HOW DARE YOU! We wouldn't put them in charge of rescue if they weren't up to it! WHAT AN OUTRAGEOUS IMPUTATION!

9:14pm
Yes, ballerinas and motorcross riders do share a sexual tension as deep as the gender divide. Yes.

9:17pm
Bloody hell, the teams are entering already? Well, that's it. I'm done.