Oh God. This blog is in dire need of... well, blogging. Guy, where are you? Off having a life, the damn schmuck. What cheek! So, because his life is just too fabulous to speak of, you will have to be stuck with hearing the minutiae of mine. I have just spent the past two weeks feeding and watering my sixteen-year-old brother whilst the parents were doing a driving tour of Tassie. Yes, that's right. We're of sophisicated stock. But it was no bother. Hilarity ensued. Except that the dishwasher is malfunctioning and it rained like a pisser so that none of the washing was ever dry, and two of our pets are suffering from lingering ailments. Purdy the cat got in a fight with a neighbour, (also a cat). It's no big deal but ministering to his (oh so superficial, he's such a wussy drama queen) wounds has left scratches all up my forearms. And our little dog Pippa is steadily removing all the hair from her body because of some skin condition that no amount of bathing and oinment seems to be able to counteract. And because she's so bald, she's too cold to eat much of her food from the bowl outside so she's losing weight and all her pudge has turned into comical/gross rolls of empty skin, which are highly visible due to her baldness. She has turned herself into a cross between a Sharpei rolly dog and one of those freaky hairless hypo-allergenic cats a la Mr Bigglesworth. It's not a look congruous to cuddly-poos. Also, because of the wet weather, the dogs can't seem to handle walking in the wet garden, so they do all their business on the safety of the path, which presents a veritable minefield for me to traverse when I return from work in the dark at 2am. But no biggie. It was glorious bliss hanging at the house without its owners. As I said, hilarity ensued. (Listen, we think we're funny and we're sticking to it). Much explosive hysterics and the playing of loud music etc. Also, not to bag mum's cooking, but we had edible meals for two whole weeks! And I never knew how much moral smugness I could get from adding spinach to a meal. It was a formative time in terms of my attitudes to parenting. Now, my parents are no taskmasters or disciplinarians, they're just irritating sometimes. And my brother gets the brunt of the nagging because he is still nominally under their care. But while he was under my care, his homework marks were uncharacteristically great (no offence, bro). I'm not joshing you. He actually became one of those Straight A students of legend, a feat of which my parents have only been dreaming. So, with only this flimsy evidence to support me, I am going to make a sweeping statement about the superiority of 'hands-off' parenting. I plan to unequivocally raise my children in the 'bum around on the couch watching TV' style that has been so unjustly blamed for various massacres and other anti-social behaviour. This style of parenting is perfect for me... oh, and for the children also. It's the easy option, and it works! Hey, who knew?

Just a little note on annoying news stories and/or their treatments this week. The Kobe Bryant sexual assault case. People are treating it as if it is simply a case of adultery - cue ill-considered celebrity vox pops in which such lines as "celebrities are targets" and "If Clinton can do it, why can't Kobe?" and "If his wife can forgive him, why shouldn't we?" are indignantly hissed, to be followed by a "We support you Kobe" flourish. But we're not talking about whether or not he hurt his wife's feelings, or whether we should be in a position to judge what happens between him and other consenting adults, we're talking about a situation in which a woman alleges that she did not consent to having sex with him and that she does not forgive him for it. And I know that he is innocent until proven guilty, but the same courtesy needs to be extended to, or at least entertained about, his accuser. I'd just like to mention that we are (or could be) talking about rape here, so I would calmly entreat people to remember that, and perhaps temper their statements accordingly. "I'm with Kobe" does have a chilling effect, because it could mean something rather bad. Another issue producing annoyance and dismay is the push to have a constitutional amendment (ie. binding in law) in the USA which 'defines marriage' (read 'bans gay marriage'). But there are too many arguments to make against this and I'm tired. Just admit that it is discriminatory to cordon off marriage as an appropriate practice for only certain members of the community, you utter prats.