I've only ever read two articles about Barry's son, Oscar Humphries. The thing is, he wrote both of them himself. Ewwww. I cringe when I think about this guy. I think I really don't like him. There's something a bit yick about him. He's really annoying, especially in his own words. And, hey, it's not that I dismiss the rationale for having his personality foisted upon us. I mean, I'm as interested in the children of celebrities as the next person. I read the first article by him because I went "Huh. Barry Humphries' son. Sweet". So, I am not a calvinist work ethic type about profiles. Also, it's not the concept of this dilettente guy being able to write articles about himself and get them published across the globe that I have a problem with either. Writing about yourself is not necessarily a bad thing. I am in no position to mock it [or maybe I am and I just don't know it]. Anyway, I think I love dilettentes [they're like bums but cooler, right?]. It's just that it's a really really really bad idea to get Oscar Humphries to write the articles about himself, himself. He's a bit of a prat, see. The first thing I read about/by him was something he wrote last year about being the young man in an older woman/young man relationship. It was excrutiating. He was all about how great older women are because they are assured and know what they want blah blah blah. And how being the younger, less assured, less powerful one in the relationship made him more understanding of how his previous girls had felt in their relationships with him. Wanker. Pretty much his main point in that article was to reveal [and then repeatedly reiterate] how great the sex was. By extension, I think we were meant to infer how great he was. It was kinda lame, painful to read, and quite put me off him. Loser. And now there's another frickin article by/about him, with this one dedicated to retelling, for our benefit, his life story. Don't people write profiles for people anymore? Why is it that he's twice been able to submit these horrid personal reflection pieces? And why does he think it's a good idea to do so? Trust me, Oscar mate, it really isn't. You're crap. I hate reading what he has to say about himself. Could someone else read it and tell me if I'm being too harsh? Maybe, without having read the first "I am a sex god" article, you won't have the foundation in dislike from which I am building. But, if you're interested, the more recent article that prompted this post appears in this week's Age Sunday Life Magazine. Oscar's the bare-chested guy on its front cover. I think he's full of crap. But, here, you be the judge. Here are some of the dickhead's thoughts, on himself:

"I'm an old 22. I feel like I've lived many lives in many different places. I've loved more than most and seen more than most but that also means I've hurt more".

"... living in Beverly Hills was, even for me, an unreal experience".

"Australia is a new country and it makes me want to be a new man... This is where I was born, this is where I want to learn how to walk".

"I'm a little bit Sydney... a little bit Melbourne... a little bit LA... a little bit New York... a little bit London. I feel all of these things - on their own, they are unremarkable. But together, in me, today and always, they give colour and light to this nomad".

Yuck. There's something very bad and wrong about this guy.