Just for some background, watching the Grammys often makes me excessively angry. After last year, I decided that that is not healthy. You see, I watch the Grammys because sometimes they deliver some really cool collaborations. But I can't remember what happened last year. I think I was too consumed by rage, and all I remember is the rage. Last year's Grammys evoke for me the words "just plain heinous", and maybe that had a lot to do with the unbroken stream of crap that seemed to be getting nominated. I mean, I have this vague recollection that, in any given category, there was rarely even one deserving winner in the bunch. And the Grammys are no fun if no-one good is even in with a chance. I can recall extreme frustration, bitterness and annoyance, which all led to a pledge never to credit the terms 'Grammy-winner' or 'Grammy-nominee' with any degree of automatic respect. I was really mad. I was screaming and cursing and spitting and calling the Grammy names, and ready to dismiss the whole thing as worthless. I was livid. And that's kinda weird.

So this year, to guard against the rage, I decided to watch the show with only one small goal in mind. I told myself, "You will enjoy these Grammys as long as Train don't win anything. That will be the dealbreaker this year." Thus, with my focus and boundaries firmly negotiated, I ventured forth. Steeled now with resolve and a preset option out of the calm [I was permitted to go off like a nutcase if Train got anything] I could handle whatever else that came my way. No reckless hating here. The rage would not appear. And it didn't. [Up yours, Train! Hah!] I maintained composure throughout. They were an alright Grammys I suppose. A little flat, maybe. These are the things that I noticed:

- Richard Marx is still around. Huh. I was quite unprepared for that.

- The nominees were pretty good, considering this is the Grammys.

- Christina has great style.

- Mmmmmm. Jakob Dylan. Damn baby! Seriously, DAMN !!!

- The two best outfits of the night were both made up of the same components. This is werid, considering that these components were a sparkly yellow fabric outfit worn skin-tight and coupled with a huge fluffy wooly accessory. Anyway, the Best Outfit award is shared by the bass player from Earth, Wind & Fire [who wore a sparkly yellow skin-tight catsuit with huge fluffy wooly gumboots] and Mary J Blige [who wore a yellow sparkly skin-tight dress with an even yellower huge fluffy wooly fabulous jacket]. Nice work, people. You rule!

- Those I noticed sporting great hair were; Christina, Alicia Keys, Kelly Osbourne, and Linda Perry.

- Justin's song was one of the best performances. Nice job. Only problem with this boy is that he persists in poorly selecting his sneakers. Too bulky. Facial hair situation good at the moment, though, thank god.

- Robert Randolph and the Family Band and George Clinton and that whole onstage funk party was also really cool.

- Ellen Degeneres needs to wear her suits tighter.

- Yoko RULES! [Paul still a cunt]

- Black Eyed Peas chick gets the Super-Ace Black Leg-warmers and Heels Combo award.

- By the way, what does Justin actually do in that song?

- Norah Jones should wear her hair up more often. Nice bangs.

- Beyoncé's voice is ace, but....Haaaaaah hahaaaaaaaaaa!!!! A dove!! Haaaahaahah!

- I just really love Ozzy. Something about him makes my heart fill with tender feelings.

- Sarah McLaughlin looked like Gloria Estefan [no judgment. It's just not how I remembered her].

- And, last but not least, in Oukast's able hands, even a school marching band doing The Robot is cool.



Phew. Grammys is done. Now I think I'll be able to handle next year as long as Evanescence don't win anything. Hmmm. I let you off easy this year, Grammys.