Spurred on by a debate raging in the comments section of A Wild Young Under-Whimsy, here are the reasons why I do not like Ian Thorpe (not that I've met him):

1: He has his own range of pearls. Self explanatory.
2: He wore an all-white suit to some awards gig.
3: He has his own underwear range. The name is "It", cause that's like his initials, but the logo kinda looks like a pool, cause he, like swims.
4: He has a suspiciously fake tan. Yes he's a swimmer, but I don't buy it.
5: He has blonde tips in his hair. Self explanatory.
6: I'm sure he refers to himself in the third-person in interview situations.
7: And finally, did I mention the pearls?