Paris Hilton Watch: She's appearing in Las Vegas on Monday night, but that's not even the news [by the way, when the FUCK is The OC coming back? Bring it back ya bastards! Paris was on that show too!]. Anyway, the news is, oh joy of joys, that her pop debut is FINALLY imminent! Yippee! Her first single will be a cover of Baby I Don't Care. Can you just SEE the film clip?! It's gonna be perfect! Pouty Paris rolling her eyes at all these people making a fuss about her, or trying to get into clubs while she just waltzes through with her dead glazed look. GOLD! She looks joyless better than anyone. Yay! And even more yay, she's WRITTEN a song that's gonna accompany the first single! It's called Screwed and I anticipate a delightfully subtle play on words. I wonder what video they'll match with that one? [Ergh. Mark that down as one of the many million lame sex-tape jokes about to wash over the world. Lame lame lame.]