Monday, September 27, 2004

Went to the Symphony tonight. It was arse. Oh god. Such fucking arse. It started off amusingly enough, eavesdropping on the conversation behind us. This French dude who works at the embassy in Canberra was in town and his Melbourne acquaintances were trying to make small talk. Like, "How do you like Canberra?" To which he replied, "Oh, I henjoy zhat zhere eez no traffic. It does not take long to get to and from work, so zhere eez more time to be wizh my fameelie. In zhat way, it is not like Paris at all." Which pleased the Melbournians enough that they said, "Yes, Canberra is lovely, isn't it." Oh god. That poor man. And to think he'd come down to Melbs for some 'culture', and instead was treated to arse. Beginning with Mozart's Symphony No 40. Sorry Mo, but that piece just blows. So boring. But I didn't mind that too much because I figured, "Still, the Requiem is next, and that's what I came here to see." I was quite looking forward to it. But do you wanna know what I got instead? Arse. You have no idea. Before the piece had even properly begun, it was fouled up. I was prepared to accept that someone had thought it was a good idea to have Gregorian chanters sing before each movement. It was stupid, but I could handle it. But to also have some dude do readings between the movements [a letter Mozart wrote to his ailing father, and various other biblical-type stuff] in a cringy pompous Shakepeare-actor voice, Jesus. It was just too much to be borne. I was sitting there trying to squirm as imperceptibly as possible, my jaw clenched, my eyes screaming in horror and disbelief. It was so stoopid. And I was ticked. Each time a movement would end, I would glare at the Gregorians and at the reader dude, going, "Don't. Fucking. Move." And sometimes we were spared. But not nearly enough. At the end, when crowd patter could cover me, I managed to say, "What the hell was that? Oh god I hated it so much." And then I heard the Melbourne people behind me going, "Hmmm, that was an interesting treatment, wasn't it?" Oh. My. God. ARSE!

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