Saturday, May 14, 2005

I have only just discovered that last month the world lost yet another luminary, a man of letters whose creative impulses defined a generation. Yes, William J. Bell, the creator of The Bold and The Beautiful and The Young and The Restless, who also wrote Days Of Our Lives for a significant time, is dead… And not ‘dead’ dead, either. Rather, actually dead. For real. Like, no crazy scenario whereby he somehow didn't die, but instead ended up trapped on some mysterious island with everyone else who has ‘died’ while his friends and family back home think he’s dead, and so mourn and get into romantic entanglements. And let’s just take a moment here to hope for the poor man’s sake that he wasn’t actually expecting that to happen. Sweet jesus, can you imagine the shock of his final moments if he was? When it finally became clear that no, an evil twin was not going to materialise, be mistaken for him and be taken by Death in his stead. It would torment me indeed if the great William J. Bell's last words were “…but, my obsessed kidnapper should be here by now.” I'm sure those weren't his last words at all. And now, yeah, he’s really dead. No, really. He is. I swear. Oh, how can I explain it so as you'll understand? He’s dead. As in, not coming back. Ever.

You know, I thought I had found the perfect way to communicate how permanent his death situation is. See, I was going to say he’s dead, as in ‘Taylor dead’. But FUCKING HELL. She’s NOT DEAD!


Prince Omar appears and explains that he saved Taylor’s life and put a dummy into the coffin to be buried. In complete disbelief, Ridge turns to see Taylor walking toward him.”

No, really. HOW?

Taylor explained all of the circumstances which lead Ridge to believe she had died. Taylor explained that when Ridge thought she was dead, she was in a coma, only. Taylor explained that Prince Omar's men had gone to the hospital and discovered that she still had a heart beat. She explained that the men revived her and brought her back to Prince Omar where she remained in a coma for a very long time.”

That fucking Prince Omar. He is one obsessed and consistent blast from the past.

Anyways, William J. "she was in a coma, only" Bell, WE SALUTE YOU.

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