SOME VIRTUES OF NOT BEING KENNY CHESNEY

Virtue #1: hair


Virtue #2: better hats


Virtue #3: hair and better hats


Virtue #4: going ‘country’ only when you want to [and being awesome at it when you do]


Virtue #5: having the following not be your much too talked about red-and-white aesthetic [and please note: low and dismissive opinions are actually legitimate for the following]


Virtue #6: a tan? I think not!


Virtue #7: hotness, moodiness, ambiguity, and just generally being a bit special, a bit queer, really


Virtue #8: [and this is the principle virtue of not being Kenny Chesney] Elanor adores you… But oh dear. She is currently on the verge of a breakdown. You see, having decided to whip up a light-hearted bit of pfaffery, quite inconsequential to her psyche, about the virtues of not being Kenny Chesney, she went on The Internet. And discovered that you, Mr Not Kenny Chesney himself, have married another. And so have broken Elanor's heart, as much as that is possible… Or have you? She is quite confused and unsure about whether to accept the truth of it. Canoes? On the confluence of three rivers? Shamans? Catholics? Etc? So Elanor has decided that the only opinion she can safely put forward is, hey, she likes these shoes and is willing to respect the woman who wears them:

Because Elanor's respect MATTERS.