Because I Have Decided To Read Again.

But before I actually crack open a book, here's a story. A few years ago, a friend of mine wanted to try her hand at short film making, and she decided the topic to explore was the self-help industry. I think she had a mockumentary in mind or something. Anyway, so her ex-boyfriend had a scary amount of self-help material, which I assume he had paid for and read, and he lent me some books because I was supposed to help her do 'research'. Thing was, we'd sit down to do 'research' and just end up pissing ourselves laughing and reading bits aloud that struck us as particularly insipid. And then we'd get a little frightened that people were serious about this stuff, and so require a smoke break. As you can imagine, nothing came of the film. But today I've been searching around my room trying to find a copy of Sense & Sensibility, because I have quite the hankering to read it NOW. Still can't find it, which is a bother, but I've realised that her ex-boyfriend's stash of self-help books is still in my possession. So I really need to return them asap, because two years is just plain rude. Also I can't stand to have the pernicious filth - now that I know it's in my house - in my house ONE MOMENT LONGER. Thankfully he'll be at a party tonight, so the filth can be returned to him. Anyway, here's the point: I noticed a bit of blue sticky paper marking a particular passage in one of the books, on which I'd helpfully written "INANE! GOLD!". And I'd like to share it with you now, because it is just a beautiful thing. It's from Reading People, the New York Times bestseller by "America's leading expert on reading people", Jo-Ellan Dimitrius PhD. This is how she begins a section called The Lost Art Of Reading People:

"Unless you've been stranded on a desert island for the past fifty years, you've noticed that the world has changed."

Are there words?





ANYWAY HERE'S A TIP FOR HOW TO SPEND YOUR LEISURE TIME TONIGHT:
Before you go to see My Disco at the Northcote Social Club, why not pause for a while at the Wesley Anne to watch my friend Camille's band, Broken Hills. They play at around 8pm, which leaves you plenty of time to travel the hundred metres or so to the next gig. Yep, this is one super-fantastic plan.

New Porn.

Forgot to mention the New Pornographers gig I saw last week at the Prince. What a sweet bunch of dags they are. And with the vocal punch.


You really can't fault them. There's the Neko. And there's the cheery drummer who keeps the beat while swigging hard liquor out of the bottle. It's just so darn nice.

Whew. Lemon gelati and Midlake.

Is all that I can handle today.

I went outside before, and quickly thought better of it. Hopefully things will have cooled down by tonight, and there had better be fans (not Midlake fans, but you know, electric-powered fans) moving air around at the Corner Hotel, because I have recently discovered that moving air is ESSENTIAL to my survival/relative comfort. Because IT'S A BIT HOT. The house is completetly shut up, and I'm stranded on the couch drinking water with ICE in it. It's rather good, too. However, lemon gelati is the best. And I just wanted that on record. Lemon Gelati Is The Best. (By the way, is it -ti or -to? It's been playing on my mind, because the tub says gelato, but I've always said gelati. Can we both be right?)

Benefits Of Being A Bujalski Fan.

#1. You get to say Bujalski.

Bu-jal-ski.


#2. You get to enjoy films made by Bujalski.

During this year's MIFF, Mutual Appreciation charmed me silly, and I said to myself, "Who is this Bujalski?" And, "Where can I find more of him?" Well, had I had my wits about me at the time, I would have realised that more Bujalski was to be found right then and there, at MIFF, because his previous film, Funny Ha Ha was also screened, replacing Larry Clark's Wassup Rockers for some reason that was never explained. However, as I had quite badly wanted to see Wassup Rockers, but found all attempts to book for it foiled by this pesky unknown entity called Funny Ha Ha, I did the equivalent of sticking my tongue out at it and saying, "Forget you." Witless, I know. But that's all in the past, because I recently sought out and watched Funny Ha Ha, and it similarly charmed me silly. Yes, I like me a Bujalski film. But more specifically, I like seeing a pattern emerge in terms of Bujalskisms. And the Bujalskism I'd like to highlight here relates to casting. Which leads us to:


#3. Pshaw. Cute boys.


If it's been your experience that, upon discovering cute boys - and this is especially the case when the cute boys also radiate sweet-naturedness and smartness and distinctly nice niceness - you make a point of learning their names so that you can do things like Google them, and/or correctly address them in the pretend conversations you commence having with them in your head, well then, we are on the same page, is all.

The point is, the featuring of cute boys is Bujalskism 101, people, and let's be thankful for it. I refer you to Figure A, Justin Rice in Mutual Appreciation, and Figure B, Christian Rudder in Funny Ha Ha. So very cute. And the effect is only amplified when they are, say, moving and/or speaking. FYI, they do both rather well, and Justin Rice manages to pull off the feat in both films. In Mutual Appreciation though, Justin Rice also does rather well at acting like he is in a band, which prompted me to suggest to him, in one of the pretend conversations which have become a feature of our time together, "You know what, Justin? You could really be in a band. You should look into that. You would be rather good at it." For some reason, I pursued that suggestion no further, until months later, that is, quite recently, when paying close attention to the end credits of Funny Ha Ha, I noted that certain pieces of music from the film were attributed to the following songwriting pair: "J.Rice, C.Rudder". Well then. It seems Justin, lovely man that he is, has been humouring me just a tad. In his wisdom, he was probably trying to prevent the attack of gleeful hyperventilation that's hitting me right... about... now.


#4. You get a New Favourite Band.

SCREAM. They are called Bishop Allen. Oh, you will like them so much. Well, perhaps you already do. Really, how could you not?

And they are being particularly prolific at the moment, so get on board, people.



IN OTHER NEWS, YOU WANT A LOVELY WALL CALENDAR, DON'T YOU.

Well, in a happy coincidence, I happen to have made one (along with three other people and the financial backing of 3CR Community Radio), and am willing to let you know how to buy it. GENEROUS.


Here, LOOK AT IT.



And furthermore, LOOK WHAT'S INSIDE IT.




So very pretty. And to get one of your very own (and one for your mum, your dad, your gramps, your aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, etc.), why not call 3CR on (03)94198377, or get along to 21 Smith St Fitzroy to buy it in person, or check the 3CR website for the various quality bookshops at which it is available.


Alternatively, and if you have a spare $20 and a conscience today, I will be flogging calendars/having a conscience at the David Hicks rally at Federation Square from 2pm. You should probably come along even if you don't have $20, I would suggest.

So You Thought She Could Dance?

Aw, wasn't it fun? Pauline Hanson on Dancing With The Stars, what a battler, what a dag, giving it her besequinned best, what a great dancing lady, WE LIKE HER.

Yes, people went INSANE for a while, which made me go insane. The Pauline Hanson Revival struck me as astonishing bullshit, as a sign of the apocalypse, as TOTALLY FUCKED UP. And I found myself rubbing my head and mumbling, “But, how can people go on television and say ‘I love you Pauline’ without causing shocked silence and a mass refusal to make eye contact? IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. SHE'S PAULINE HANSON!” And yes, I did tend to get a bit shouty. But can you blame me? She was PAULINE HANSON, she had always been PAULINE HANSON, and surprise surprise, she remains PAULINE HANSON.




"We're bringing in people from South Africa at the moment, there's a huge amount coming into Australia, who have diseases, they've got AIDS".

"They are of no benefit to this country whatsoever, they'll never be able to work."

"Why do we have to bring people in who are of no benefit to this country whatsoever, who are going to take away our way of life, change our laws?"

"Our governments have bent over backwards to look after them (Muslims) and their needs, and regardless of what the Australian people think".

"You can't have schools not sing Christmas carols because it upsets others, you can't close swimming baths because Muslim women want to swim in private, that's not Australian."




So for fuck's, let's not be seen hugging her in public or praising her courage and conviction and Great Australian-ness EVER AGAIN. The time to start backing away from her is ALWAYS.

Today's paper. Quite a something.