Um, the federal election is tomorrow and I've offered no sharp [or even dull] analysis of anything relating to it since the campaign began. Whoops. I had every intention of being excited and attentive, and I have been following it. It's just that, after eight years, I have nothing more to say but "YOU SUCK! GET LOST!" I made my mind up so long ago, and I've simply been waiting out the campaign for election day.

Hmmm, I guess I'm like a lot of other Australians in that respect. It appears that none of us have budged. Which is fine for me to do, but Liberal/National voters doing it screws the whole thing up. They are supposed to budge! That's how things get nice. I mean, I have budged a little since the last election, but still, my mind was made up long before this campaign began. Last time around I voted Labor in the House of Reps and Greens in the Senate. I thought it was an honest vote, because I said to myself, "The government is formed in the House of Reps. Who do I want to form government? Labor." And then, "Who do I want to hold the balance of power in the Senate? Greens." And so that's what I did. I thought that I had reasoned it out nicely, but as soon as I had cast my vote, I felt tremendous guilt. I mean, I had just voted for a party who supported the detention of asylum seekers. Dang! So I resolved then and there to just go Green all the way this time round.

Nonetheless, I feel a little two-faced about it, because I really want a Labor government. On election night, most of my attention will be directed at "Are Labor gonna win? Please make Labor win!" How many seats the Greens get will only be a secondary concern. But I just cannot vote Labor. And when I start to feel bad about maybe putting Lindsay Tanner out of a job, I just steel myself with thoughts of gay marriage. Any party that argues against it just gets a "NO" from me. You can't argue that gay people shouldn't have the right to marry in a way that isn't homophobic and idiotic. And we should all care about this on principle. Or, if principle isn't enough for you and you require personal incentive, just think about how, if you were being discriminated against by the state, you would feel the injustice of it. It's wrong. And the arguments are bullshit. So I can't possibly vote for such stupidity and shittiness. Sorry Lindsay, it's a party thing.

Anyway, as always, I'm ignoring all the polls and predicitng a Labor victory, because how could that not happen? However, this is how I've felt before the last three elections, and still the Coalition has gotten in. What the hell is that about, people?

I feel I would be repeating myself if I said another thing about the Howard government being really shit and needing to go, so I've decided to republish, rather than repeat. I've mined the archives, and look look, I've called John Howard rude words:

a 'man of steel'

a transparent little weasel

a copycat

a cunt

a complete shit

a guy who badmouths people who have just escaped from a sinking boat

Howard sucks

he is yucky and a dickhead make him go away ew ew ew!

I am so tough. Anyway, if you're a Liberal/National voter, you could care less about me telling you not to vote in another Howard government. [By the way, please don't!] But you might listen to Howard himself. He had some excellent advice for voters today, which I think we should all heed. He is our leader after all. This morning he said probably the best thing to ever come out of his mouth;

"if you kick hard enough and enough of you kick, I won't be in office."

Sounds like a plan. COME ON! Yeah! Let's do it! Yippee!